I thought I’d write this because before I had my baby, I was overdue and spending hours online trying to get a sense of what the first few weeks would be like and how I’d be spending my time as the mum of a newborn. Everyone kept telling me to get loads of sleep and that once that baby came I’d have no time for anything. ANYTHING. But why wouldn’t I? What would I be doing instead? It all just felt really surreal and mysterious.
There aren’t really any blogs describing it first hand cos new mums don’t have time to write bloody blogs you idiot!
So here we go…
Dan was off work so we were in this together. Days consist of feeding the baby, changing nappies, trying to nap while the baby sleeps and that’s about it. That’s literally all we had time for.
At night, we’re sleeping for about 1 and a half to 2 hours at a time and keep doing this until about 9.30 our 10am..have tea and chockie bickies in bed and then take it turns to have a shower and get ready while the other holds the baby..the baby just sleeps and eats, not much else. By the time we make it downstairs it’s about midday.
We watched homes under the hammer every day to give our lives structure.
I didn’t leave the house cos I was still weak and hobbly from my stitches.
The baby was feeding probably every hour or two with a nappy change each time too. Dan did ALL nappy changes!
The days went by super fast and we were very tired..I was an emotional wreck..did I love my baby enough? Was I a bad mum for wanting to give the baby to Dan to calm his crying? Was I breast feeding right? How would I just look after a baby all day every day? THIS IS HARD I CAN’T DO IT!
We were told that when you have the baby you get this rush of oxytocin, “the love hormone”… I was expecting this high of love like nothing I’ve ever felt before..but it didn’t come..I thought Freddie was amazing and I loved him but it didn’t feel like a rush or a surge or overwhelming…I kept crying and worrying about it..I kept crying for no reason..I was very up and down! But it was perfectly normal..apparently you can be more emoshe after a forceps delivery too cos it’s a bit traumatic..not everyone is like that but a lot are.
We had a lot of requests for visitors and even though we wanted to see everyone, we spread it all out..having guests every day was a big no no. It really took it out of us…I also just liked it being the three of us, all holed up.
Week two wasn’t much different on a day to day basis..I tried to walk to the shop and it was hard! Took me ages and really wore me out..another day we went out on the car to minimise walking and I tried breast feeding in public..success! Feeding is more like every 2 hours now.
I got more and more panicky about Dan going back to work and being on my own..How would I do it? Would it be boring? It’s hard!
Dan’s went back to work and on my first day alone, my mum, brother and his family came to visit..I stayed in bed with the baby, feeding him etc until they arrived..then I handed him over and had a shower..did the washing up, made the bed..that day was great…the next day I was alone..it went fine but by bed time I had a meltdown…I CAN’T JUST BE ON MY OWN LOOKING AFTER A BABY EVERY DAY..I CAN’T JUST LOOK AFTER A BABY ALL THE TIME WAH!!!!
I text my mum who was coming by the next day and asked her to stay over..she ended up staying two nights which was great cos then it was Friday when she left…the week went much better with my mum on hand…
My mum came for the day again I Monday and stayed over 2 nights again..but I went and visited a yoga friend on one day and me and mum went to central London one day and I breast fed in public again, changed the baby in a train carriage..milestones!
I haven’t spent loads of time alone with the baby but the days I’m alone or my mum is arriving later, I’m getting better at getting up and getting stuff done, keeping the house tidy etc…
FAST FORWARD TO NOW...
Freddie is almost 9 weeks old now..he’s 2 months!
I’ve got events planned for every day this week..tomorrow I’m meeting ante natal class mums in Forest Hill, Tuesday my parents are visiting, Wednesday I’m going to Central London to visit work friends, Thursday I’m going to a nursery rhyme class at Crystal Palace library, then coffee with maternity yoga mums, Friday I’m going to Shoreditch to meet up with my old manager and her baby. Busy!
Every morning is different..Will he nap at the right time so I can have a shower, get dressed and leave the house on time?
Will the afternoon drag while we’re waiting for Dan?
But nights have become a predictable routine of sleep and feeds..bedtime is reliable…it’s all manageable and fun!
Before I had Freddie someone told me the first few weeks are hell..they’re not hell..but compared to now..they were weird and hard and tiring and I’m glad they’re over!
Watch this space for more blog posts!
Here are some photos of my gorg baby…