To formula or not to formula

I’ve breastfed Fred since he was born..exclusively at first and then adding solid food to his diet from 5 months…If I couldn’t be there I pumped my boobs to replace the feeds I missed.

I’m really lucky because I always found breastfeeding easy and relatively painless. Fred latched well from the very beginning and I was on a high needs ward for the first few days after his birth, getting loads of one to one support from the midwives. There were moments when he latched wrong and it hurt but it was never that bad. There were other moments when I felt like a cow…enormous hard breasts that constantly leaked milk…And exhausted from constant feeds all day and all night…

But I love breastfeeding…I’ve never really been shy about doing it in public and don’t cover up when I do.
Basically I’m a real advocate for breastfeeding but I know a lot of mums make the decision to use formula milk..either from the beginning exclusively, or combi feeding or they breastfeed for as long as possible and then switch over. I know there are myriad reasons for using formula and none of them are any one’s business but the mums in question…

I’ve recently decided to give Fred a bit of formula..I can’t pump much milk any more and I’ve got a wedding coming up that Fred isn’t coming’s a very close friend and so I either don’t go or I supplement Fred’s meals with some formula…

So I gave him a bit to see if he liked it and he chowed down on it like nobody’s business. I was a bit offended but also a bit what is this magical elixir….
Coincidentally, a few days later, Fred really bit my nipple when feeding and every feed after that was agony so I fed him from just one boob for a day..I had to supplement with formula though, I just didn’t have enough milk..And in the subsequent days there seem to have been more and more reasons to “just give him one bottle”.

I feel guilty that I’m not feeding him from my own milk..then I think..but he eats solids too what’s the difference? It’s like a milk shake!
But I’d come so far!
Who cares?
But I don’t have a “good” reason!
What’s a “good” reason?
But I want to breast feed him till he’s at least one.
You still can!

And so on and so forth.

And actually I’m like this all day long about everything…naps, meals, walks, baby groups, bed time. EVERYTHING.

Am I particularly neurotic? Or is this motherhood?

Anyways..Every decision I make about Freddie has Freddie’s best interests at heart. I have to keep reminding myself of that. And when that’s the case, no decision is’s just what you have to do.

Apart from today when I went bra shopping. That was for me. And he showed me what he thought about that.


And here’s one of him in the bath.


And here’s one of him playing with his Nanny Lin’s priceless record collection.


Oh and here’s one of him when he was tiny and dressed like a ghost pirate.



My Vlog Debut!

I decided to do a Vlog!
I didn’t really know what to do my first one on so I jumped right in while I was making dinner yesterday. I’m not attempting to do a food channel or anything.

I’m not v tech savvy yet either so it’s two videos..I’m not sure how to splice and merge or whatever.

Here we go…

And the verdict..

Director’s notes:

1. Must do better…
2. Do not call it a video blog.

3. Do hair next time

OILY RAGS; FAGS…a 40’s weekend

At the weekend Dan, Freddie and I went to stay with my parents in Chatham..They moved into a new house recently in Chatham Dockyard which is absolutely gorgeous (the house and the dockyard itself). It’s a working dockyard as well as a residential area and they have lots of events there too. Every year they have a 40’s weekend so we popped along (free tickets innit).




None of us got dressed up..I really wanted to dress as a land girl..I’ve been saying I’ll dress up as a land girl for every fancy dress event in the last 10 years but I’m but very good at fancy dress. A good fancy dress outfit takes time and planning and those are not my strong points. I do hate to take time.

But dressing up 40’s is my favorite look. For my wedding my hair and makeup was quite 40’s actually. There’s also a episode of Gilmore Girls eps where Rory dresses up so cool 40’s (I LOVE HER).


But in the end I just wore a denim shirt dress with tights and my new mustard coat.


THEN I DIED because it was a hot summer’s day sms I changed into these navy Zara trousers and striped Zara top. And Zara flats. Oh. I did it again. Head to toe Zara.


Anyways, while we were at mum’s, Fred slept in her room so Dan and I could catch up on some sleep..he then had two of the worst nights he’s had in months so sorry mum but thank duck we were at yours!

And Fred got some new wheels from Dan’s gdad.


Staycation British Seaside Chic

Last week Dan, Fredrik and I packed our bags and drove to Norfolk for a family holiday with his Nan and Grandad, siblings and their families.
We stayed in a massive 7 bedroom house in Cromer that had an aga, a hot tub, a table tennis room, two living rooms and a secret panic room.

Oh by the way I hate agas they’re rubbish. Each time any of us made dinner it took 5 hours and was ruined cos of that thing. Also the entire house was BOILING because of it. I did dry some washing near it though very quickly so it had one purpose.

Yes. I do laundry on holidays. Didn’t you know I need to do five loads a day since I had Fred?

Anyways…Cromer is lovely..I’ve been quite a few times before as my best friend in uni was from there..but all my memories of the place are of getting drunk on the beach and skinny dipping..this time round was a much more wholesome affair…

And what to wear for a windy, rainy British seaside holiday?


This was my favorite outfit of the week because it sums up British summertime…it’s a summer dress, but I’ve added a jumper and trainers and a windswept hair do.


The dress is Zara, the jumper Topshop and the trainers are Converse.


Oh and here’s one of Fred in the hot tub. He’s such a baller.