Yes. This actually happened. Ahem.
Anyway, I love red lipstick. I love how I look when I wear it. And I have super dry, colourless, thin lips and a small mouth so a red lip is the perfect way to make my mouth look a bit more normal.
Just read this back and I’m making myself sound really gross. Sorry. There’s more to come….
The dry lips thing means lipstick crusts up a bit on my lips, plus whenever I wear lipstick I spend the whole time thinking the following…
I JUST LICKED MY LIPS DID IT AFFECT MY LIPSTICK?
OH I JUST SIPPED SOME COFFEE DID IT AFFECT MY LIPSTICK?
MY LIPS ARE DRY IS MY LIPSTICK CRUSTY?
I LICKED MY LIPS AGAIN DID IT AFFECT MY LIPSTICK MORE?
I DID IT AGAIN
MY LIPSTICK IS PROBABLY RUINED I SHOULD PROBABLY GO TOUCH UP BUT I CAN’T BE BOTHERED
DO I HAVE ANY LIPSTICK ON?
I IS THAT PERSON STARING AT MY RUBBISH LIPS?
And so wearing lipstick is a stressful event for me which means I often leave the house with it on, lick it off and then that’s the end. Mainly, it’s psychological though. (YES I HAVE A PSYCHOLOGICAL CONDITION WHERE I PSYCH MYSELF OUT OF WEARING LIPSTICK WHAT?)
But I currently have 500 red lipsticks..I’m obsessed with buying them..I have all these good intentions and when I’m buying one I think this time it’ll be different!
I feel like I need to train myself to wear it. It’ll work.
I have some favorite lipsticks though that I would recommend for a lip licker/lipstickophobe..they’re not all red though..
1. Bourgeois Rouge Edition Velvet
This one goes on like a lip gloss with a wand..I love the bright colour and it does actually stay on for ages even with all the lip licking.
2. Mac Ruby Woo
A matt red lip which when I’m convinced I’ve licked it off is still there! The colour is blue toned so apparently suits any skin tone. Also makes your teeth look whiter..apparently.
3. Clinique Colour Pop
It’s kind of like a cross between a lipstick and a lip balm and it’s MOISTURISING so I smack my lips a lot with it on. Nice for people around me huh?
And there you have it..just call me Sali Hughes.