A window into my preggo life

I thought I’d write a little post about my current mental state…

I’m 35 weeks pregnant now…I feel like I’ve been pregnant for years. When I was about 9 weeks, my mum and I went shopping..I couldn’t go for long but it was a fun day. I absolutely can’t believe I was pregnant with THIS baby, it feels so long ago. And the clothes I bought have already started falling apart. 

When I found out I was pregnant, people told me it would fly by but it has DRAGGED. Not the same way it did the first time..not the constant worry and clock watching. It’s just slow. 

This pregnancy is hard. I can recall one week when I felt good. When I got the “bloom”. But mainly it’s been a parade of back pain, pelvic girdle pain, headaches, dizziness, breathlessness, heartburn, sleeplessness, feeling weak and low on energy, nausea. It’s all never ending. If it’s not one thing it’s another. It’s become so bad I can barely walk. Yesterday Fred and I walked to the tesco at the end of the road and it took me 20 minutes instead of 5. And it hurt. But I HAD to have a chockie bickie you see. Needs must. 

Anyway all of that makes me feel low. I worry I’m not being a good enough mum; that I’m not giving Fred what he needs. I can’t really cook him meals cos standing hurts. I can’t take him to the park or fun places. On my days off with him I get scared and worried; how will we get through it? I collapse into crying jags and can’t get myself out. 

Then I’ll feel fine after!

Yesterday Dan had to go in a bit late cos I just needed to cry. Then I was fine and Fred and I had a lovely day; I gave in to my limitations and fed him fun snacks, let him watch Thomas and Friends all morning and took him to stay and play in the afternoon (drove there) so I could sit on a chair while he went nuts and worked off some energy. 

It was a good day in the end; nothing to worry about. And this is temporary..soon we’ll have a little girl and she’ll sleep ALL THE TIME and I’ll be able to WALK! I can take them out wherever we want to go it’ll be IDYLLIC. (Come on, let me have this fantasy). 

There were lots of mums at stay and play yesterday with babies in slings, watching their toddlers go nuts. It was encouraging. 

I do get a bit scared obviously and who knows what it’ll really be like. I feel very alone a lot of the time even though I’m not alone at all. But I get all caught up in my head and feel like no one understands. 

I guess I’m writing this partly as catharsis, partly as a reminder to myself; when it feels hopeless and I feel alone..look what I wrote! When I’m feeling good and I have perspective..it’s not true! It’s hormones and fatigue talking. Ignore it! Move on! 

I’m also writing it so Dan might buy me more presents hehe. 

Bye! 
And now a photo of Fred eating a ham sandwich while staring at the telly. 

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IKEA HACK: living room cabinet

As you may know, I’m quite obsessed with Ikea hacks..if you don’t know what this is, it means taking a basic Ikea piece and customising it to make it unique or seem more expensive. 

I’ve been pouring over pinterest images of what people all over the world have been up to and they’re incredible. I’m not very handy or patient so my forays have been quite basic so far..I painted Fred’s dresser white and I sprayed some drawer handles with copper spray..i made some cool pendant lights ibn my bedroom (you’ll see more on that when the bedroom is done)…I’ve got lots of ideas though to give my bathroom a mini makeover and some other bits and bobs..

But my most recent foray into Ikea hacking was to take an ordinary plain kallax shelf unit and give it a bit of a mid century modern update. 

I was inspired by this image…

I already had a beech veneer Kallax in Fred’s room..the plan was to paint it white but then it turned out my mum had a white one so she just swapped with me to save time! 

Then I added cupboard door inserts you can get from Ikea for 9 quid each, got some lovely knobs from anthropologie in the sale and some cool furniture feet from prettypegs…they make them with special attachments specifically so you can update ikea furniture! 

And went from here…

To here….

It wasn’t that cheap I guess…I already had the shelving unit so the price of that doesn’t count..but it was only 20 quid anyways..then the cost of the doors, knobs and feet came to just over £100…so boot cheap but not bad for such a useful piece of furniture!

It’s full of nappies, wipes, Fred’s train set, toys etc..so useful for keeping the living room a grown up haven after Fred’s bedtime..which is a big priority for me. Plus it’s extra surface space to add a plant and a lamp! (I’m really into plants)

And there you have it! I’ve got my first commission from my mum to make her one now..I’ll show you when it’s done. 

Bye! 

Freddie’s Room! 

Well Freddie is almost two years old and I’ve finally got his bedroom to a point where I actually I like it! It’s been a long slog really of mismatched furniture, clutter, junk, rank brown carpets. I don’t have any photos cos I didn’t want to take any of such ugliness!

When we bought the house this room had dark brown carpet that had crazy deep marks where the previous owner had almost filled the room with enormous heavy wardrobes. We couldn’t afford to change them straight away so they stayed..but the first weeks of living there we gave it a fresh coat of paint in a sort of yellowy cream. I wanted it to be sunny and bright in there.

We also roped in Dan’s cousin Sarah to paint this rainbow which I love. Dan had asked for a “psychedelic rainbow” which I think he got. 

The furniture in here has changed so much but I think it’s finally right..a big white cot bed, a white and wood blanket box, a white and wood arm chair and an Ikea hemnes dresser which I recently painted white and added a yellow star across the front. I’m so happy with it..compared to the dark brown it was before, it’s made the room a lot lighter.

In Jan we changed the carpets and that instantly lifted the room and made it all seem brighter.
We bought mamas and papas curtains when Fred was small and I really love them…having never bought curtains before I didn’t consider that they were neither lined nor black out..but we just put up a travel gro blind in summer..it’s a bit of a pain but does the job. I keep meaning to buy a black out roller blind to put up behind the curtains but I never seem to get round to it.

The shelves above the dresser used to have lots of storage boxes on them full of muslins, blankets,.nappies etc but they’ve all been moved to my room ready for the little girl’s arrival!
We’ve got colourful Ikea storage boxes on the floor though for Fred’s toys and books..I really want to put up some painted Ikea spice racks..I’ve seen them in kid’s bedroom walls on pinterest, used as book shelves! But I don’t want to put stuff on the walls that would limit how i can arrange the furniture..it’s possible the little girl and Fred will end up sharing for a but depending on whether we can sell up and move before we need to…so maybe in the next house! 

And that’s it! 

It’s not perfect..I’d like to change the knobs on the dresser and the shelves aren’t quite there but that’s life..nothing will ever be perfect! 

Bye! 

An Autumnal Affair (dress) to Remember

Yeah I am still banging on about autumnal dressing. What of it? 

So you all know my autumnal woes..aside from getting to say “autumnal” over and over, I normally suck at dressing for this transitional weather. Not this time! 

I picked up this GORGEOUS dress in..wait for it..Sainsbury’s! 

It’s cotton, light, perfect length, goes over the bump like a dream, mid length sleeves, dark autumnal colours..can wear with ankle boots and nothing else, or add a light jacket and build up the layers if I need to. It can be worn on weekends or to work..or to the pub! If I ever went to pubs. 

IT’S THE PERFECT DRESS AND IT COST ME 16 POUNDS. 

I would have paid a lot more for it. I get constant compliments too..from co-workers, friends,.strangers on the train. 

I love it. 

Bye! 

GO DIGI-FORCE!!!!

I want to talk about maternity notes..when you’re pregnant, your midwife gives you a paper book that you MUST CARRY WITH YOU AT ALL TIMES…for 7 months! 

You get it at your booking in appointment when you’re about 8 weeks in and it’s your bible. Your midwife writes all your updates in it, the hospital give you print outs from your scan to put inside and this is your only record. 

WHY??

I love the NHS..I’m so glad we have it..but come on. How is this efficient? Why are you sending me letters when you could send emails? Why can’t you have a computer system with all this stuff on? 

This applies to all aspects of the NHS to be honest..they’d surely save money if they went digital..in both time and resource. Why hasn’t it been done?

The maternity notes in particular bother me because if I lose them..that’s that! 

And for this pregnancy I’ve spilled an entire bottle of water in my bag, damaging the pages quite badly, and today an entire pot of soup emptied in there damaging them even further and making the whole thing stink of Thai curry. 

I don’t really have anywhere I want to go with this other than to have a rant. Shall I start a government petition? Does anyone know of one out there? 

Here are my sad notes…

Bye!