Last night a lipstick saved my life

Yes. This actually happened. Ahem.

Anyway, I love red lipstick. I love how I look when I wear it. And I have super dry, colourless, thin lips and a small mouth so a red lip is the perfect way to make my mouth look a bit more normal.

Just read this back and I’m making myself sound really gross. Sorry. There’s more to come….

The dry lips thing means lipstick crusts up a bit on my lips, plus whenever I wear lipstick I spend the whole time thinking the following…

I JUST LICKED MY LIPS DID IT AFFECT MY LIPSTICK?
OH I JUST SIPPED SOME COFFEE DID IT AFFECT MY LIPSTICK?
MY LIPS ARE DRY IS MY LIPSTICK CRUSTY?
I LICKED MY LIPS AGAIN DID IT AFFECT MY LIPSTICK MORE?
I DID IT AGAIN
MY LIPSTICK IS PROBABLY RUINED I SHOULD PROBABLY GO TOUCH UP BUT I CAN’T BE BOTHERED
DO I HAVE ANY LIPSTICK ON?
I IS THAT PERSON STARING AT MY RUBBISH LIPS?

And so wearing lipstick is a stressful event for me which means I often leave the house with it on, lick it off and then that’s the end. Mainly, it’s psychological though. (YES I HAVE A PSYCHOLOGICAL CONDITION WHERE I PSYCH MYSELF OUT OF WEARING LIPSTICK WHAT?)

But I currently have 500 red lipsticks..I’m obsessed with buying them..I have all these good intentions and when I’m buying one I think this time it’ll be different!
I feel like I need to train myself to wear it. It’ll work.

I have some favorite lipsticks though that I would recommend for a lip licker/lipstickophobe..they’re not all red though..

1. Bourgeois Rouge Edition Velvet
This one goes on like a lip gloss with a wand..I love the bright colour and it does actually stay on for ages even with all the lip licking.

2. Mac Ruby Woo

A matt red lip which when I’m convinced I’ve licked it off is still there! The colour is blue toned so apparently suits any skin tone. Also makes your teeth look whiter..apparently.

3. Clinique Colour Pop

It’s kind of like a cross between a lipstick and a lip balm and it’s MOISTURISING so I smack my lips a lot with it on. Nice for people around me huh?

And there you have it..just call me Sali Hughes.

Bye!

I HAVE A SON

Yes, of course you already know this…but I wanted to write about a particular habit I have when Fred’s not with me…which is often these days..

It started as soon as he was born..when he was about 2 months old I got a hair cut..I sat down..the hairdresser asked how I was and what could she do for me..I responded “well, I have a two month old…”.

I needed her to know…I’m a MUM. That’s something I needed to declare because I didn’t have a pram to push or a baby attached to my boob or in a sling.

And this is how it’s been up until today. When he’s not with me I feel weird. I feel like a bit is missing and I need to let everyone know that I’m meant to have a Fred with me. It’s not that I’m missing him or anything like that (obvs I miss him but I don’t spend every minute away from him whittling figures out of pine…PINING)..I just feel a bit naked.

The other day I left Dan and Fred in Sainsbury’s and nipped off to buy some last minute Valentine’s wrapping paper..on the way back to the car there was a lady with a baby..I smiled at her and she smiled back and I wanted to say “NO YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND I’M A MUM TOO..I HAVE A SON!”

The other day at work at an event we had to break into groups and discuss what the challenges are in our life at the moment ..when it was my turn I said “I HAVE A SON!”. And I don’t know if this is real or in my head but I felt as though people saw me through new eyes..not for better or worse but just differently.

A different day at work I was rushing off and someone stopped me to ask me a question..I chatted for a few mins and then blurted “I HAVE TO GO I HAVE TO PICK UP MY SON”.

Just a few incidents where I’ve unnecessarily crow barred it in.

I don’t feel defined by being a mum but it’s part of who I am now and I feel so odd and slightly bare when Fred’s not there. (I’m a poet and I don’t know it) So I bring it up when there’s no need and I feel compelled to shout at strangers.
Look..I don’t show ANYONE at work photos and videos of him. Or give complicated tales of his sleep patterns. Give me this one.

Ps I chucked a Friends quote in this post can you find it?

The end of a(n) (boob) era

I decided to stop breastfeeding the other day…for about a month now Fred’s only been having a bedtime breastfeed and I really treasured the milk cuddles at the end of the day especially as I have to leave him 3 days a week. On those 3 days I only see Fred for about 2 hours and in the mornings I have to rush about getting ready while he follows me about, crying. Then he cries when I leave.

Actually, on Tuesdays when my parents are there cos they stay over Monday nights, he really couldn’t give a shit about me and he follows them around crying instead.
But the point is, on those days I don’t get much quality time with him so I thought I’d carry on that bed time feed FOREVER.

However, the last week or so Fred’s been spending the whole feed sticking his fingers up my nose and yanking…or pushing my face side to side in a sort of elaborate comedy slapstick move..then laughing. He’s barely been doing any drinking and I thought..ok..this is it. Time to stop.

Now I give him a bottle of cow milk before bath time and it’s only been 3 days but he’s gong to sleep absolutely fine without me.

This is a bit of a difficult time for me…3 days a week I’m learning about my new role, trying to establish myself as a professional and also stay on top of meal plans and laundry and baby groups.

So far I reckon I’m not doing so great…meal planning and shopping has gone out the window..we’ve been just picking stuff up every day and getting by like that..Fred’s eating a lot of pasta with ricotta mixed in. I’m eating a lot of pret instead of carefully prepared quinoa bowls or the healthy leftovers I’d imagined.

And now I don’t have my milk cuddles.
I’m writing this post from a bit of a teary, emotional place.

I know from experience that giving up a feed throws me into emotional turmoil as my hormones cope with the change in my body..But it’s more than that. I’ve spent over a year nourishing my baby with my body..It’s what my boobs are for! Now they’re just boobs again.

Boring boobs.

And Fred doesn’t need me. That’s irrational..I know he still needs me and loves me..But as I deal with this shift where I’m not his main care giver anymore..and I don’t have all his meals taken care of and the fridge is bare…I also have this. And I’m taking a moment.

Ok…breath.

Here are some pics of my independent dude.

30 Days of my Capsule Wardrobe

For 30 days I’ve been living my capsule wardrobe. Every day I’ve taken a photo and posted it on instagram (#30daysofmycapsulewardrobe, I’ve featured some shots through this part but check my instagram @larsville for the full job lot)  and it’s been interesting looking at what I’ve worn each day. Especially how I’ve made it work for my every day mum life and my work wear… I’ve seen some clear trends and I defo haven’t worn half the stuff in my capsule collection.

I took inspiration from a blog called Unfancy..a lot of people online have based their capsule wardrobes on this blog…Caroline says to have 37 pieces for every day wear. Underwear, work out gear and lounge wear don’t count. Or special occasion wear like for weddings and stuff don’t count. Coats and jackets and shoes do count. Accessories don’t.

So I’ve had a think and here are ten things I’ve learned…

1. 37 pieces is probably too many..It’s actually loads and I haven’t worn quite a few pieces.

2. I think I need to swap out something for another pair of skinny jeans cos my Jamie jeans are already falling apart from over wear.

3. There are quite a few pieces I don’t really like that much or don’t fit properly or aren’t really in season so they need to go.

4.  Four coats and two jackets is a bit excessive.

5. Investing in good pieces is worth it, I’ll try and slowly build up to replacing the things I swap out instead of going mad in Zara or H&M in one fell swoop.

6. I might include lounge wear and accessories cos you can still go nuts buying these.

7. Cos I was taking photos every day I wanted my outfit to be different every day too but that’s not really the point of a capsule wardrobe is it?

8. I think a successful one would have lots of possible combos, but I have lots of complete “outfits”..it would be better to have tops and bottoms that can be swapped about.

9. I really am addicted to shopping. I mean it. I just can’t stop. I’ve bought stuff this month even though I’m meant to be living a capsule wardrobe. But I think if I can get the wardrobe right it’ll be different. I hope.

10. I seem to have some clear work wear and clear non work wear but I’ve done quite well making some pieces work for both.

And there you have it!
I’ll do a separate post with my final capsule wardrobe..just need to figure out the best way to show the pieces…